Butterflies

2nd March 2017

Dear Peter,

I’ve just woken up. I’m sat in 23c on the BA009 flight to Bangkok. I’ve shrunk my life from a 2-bed flat in East London to your trusty old rucksack you lent me last time I went away (thank you!).

Whilst you’re planning a whole new life for the bundle of joy about to enter the world, I’ve made no plans for this trip, nothing at all. Nothing like being prepared.

There’s an hour till touch down. You asked me if I am excited? It’s weird, I haven’t felt excited. In fact,  I’ve barely considered what lies ahead. I’ve just been thinking about the usual stuff like “What am I going to have for dinner today?”, that thought tends to take up 90% of my day. Or “Why is London so god damn cold!” won’t be missing that grim grey sky. Anyhow, back to your question, “Am I excited?”.

I’ve never quite figured out what they are, but you know when you stare out of a window on a flight into the bright blue sky and dazzling white clouds? You stare straight into the clouds and see these tiny dots of I don’t know what whizzing all about the sky in every direction possible. They buzz about, full of energy, like tiny little orbs of light, microscopic dazzle dots.

What are those things?

I’ve been told they are called floaters, but there’s far too many of them to be all dancing about on the surface of my eye. It’d be the eye floater equivalent of Glastonbury happening right there with my eyeball raves going right orrrff!

Sometimes I picture them as blissfully free souls dancing in ecstasy about the heavenly bright sky. Every soul that ever existed having the time of their lives flying around and making their way to the stratosphere miles above us, beginning their journey back to the stars from which they came. Teeny tiny angels perhaps?

There’s so many of them.

I’m sat watching them all whizz about right now and thinking how much they look like how my tummy feels. Ping-Ping, Pew-Pew! The excitement you asked me about has finally hit.

It took its time, but the butterflies have burst from their calm cocoons and they’re about to land in Bang-bloody-Kok.

“Am I excited?” Hell yes. I am excited. Excited & nervous, it’s a mixed feeling of galvanic emotions.

I imagine it’s similar to what you must be feeling with the baby coming so soon! Have the cocoons hatched in your tummy yet?

Much love,

Catrin x

 

 

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